he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
