kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
