Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
