your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
