Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
