her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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