i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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