Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
