I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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