Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
