I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
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