Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
