you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dick very happy bro
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
