Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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