so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
