A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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