Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
