maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
