when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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