Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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