it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
