Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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