Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
