Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
