.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
