My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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