a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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