Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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