i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
