One girl and one boy is just not enough.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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