whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
