I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
