kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
COCAINE IS GR8
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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