What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
