Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
