you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
