Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
