grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
