I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
