sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
