youre lurking in front of me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
