I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
