I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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