Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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