I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Holy shit dude........stairs
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
