Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
