playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
