Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
