Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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