Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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