This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Blood and glitter go together right?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
